She thought she'd have more time. Laurie Notaro figured she had at least
a few good years left. But no-it's happened. She has officially lost her
marbles. From the kid at the pet-food store checkout line whose coif is
so bizarre it makes her seethe "I'm going to kick his hair's ass!" to
the hapless Sears customer-service rep on the receiving end of her
Campaign of Terror, no one is safe from Laurie's wrath. Her cranky side
seems to have eaten the rest of her-inner-thigh Chub Rub and all. And
the results are breathtaking.
Her riffs on e-mail spam ("With all of these irresistible offers served
up to me on a plate, I WANT A PENIS NOW!!"), eBay ("There should be an
eBay wading pool, where you can only bid on Precious Moments figurines
and Avon products, that you have to make it through before jumping into
the deep end"), and the perils of St. Patrick's Day ("When I'm driving,
the last thing I need is a herd of inebriates darting in and out of
traffic like loaded chickens") are the stuff of legend. And for Laurie,
it's all true.