I couldn't wait to see what this irreverent baby naming book had between
it's covers. It's funny and witty, and I love the interludes with name
lists. --Sarah Danforth, Towne Book Center and Wine Bar, Collegeville,
PA
Unless your child is an '80s villain, we can all agree that Brad,
Todd, and Brandi with an i are all atrocious ideas. With all the swagger
of the Palmyra Pumpkin Princess, the Two Dollar Radio Guide to Naming
Your Baby will help you name your child by calling attention to those
names you should probably definitely avoid: Kyle (Just because there was
one in your first grade class, and two in your wedding, doesn't mean
there needs to be another one in your family photo), Kiefer (Grand
Marshall of Truck or Treat), Paige (She's never really going to get
it, but you're not gonna stop trying). While we can't promise your
child will be a success, we can provide you with the tools necessary to
ensure your child will not be an epic failure.
Your friends are in the hospital, awaiting the arrival of their first
child. You and your friends are eager to see a new member of your
extended family enter the world. Then, you see the Instagram post: "Hey
everyone, mom and son are doing fine. Happy and healthy! We want to
introduce you to... KEITH.
p>What do you say? I mean, you're meant to say congratulations, but do
they know? Keith is clearly step-dad's name, and there have been no
recorded Baby Keiths on record since the last time gas was 5 dollars a
gallon. Is it ironic? Maybe it's ironic. Like DadCore, but... a baby.
With the Two Dollar Radio Guide to Naming Your Baby, you'll find
plenty of useful information to help you avoid blame when your
full-grown Karen asks you why everyone asks her if she wants to ask
to see a manager. Your Karen is into horses, we know, but that's why you
should have gone with Millie.
Inside, you'll find musings on all the worst monikers -- even yours --
which means you now have a new gift idea for your family members. Who
needs 23andMe when, rather than finding out if you're 2.7 percent Welsh,
you can get to the bottom of why your cousin Dale Henry is an 8-year-old
girl with an overbite, and not a grizzled country and western singer.
For Example:
* Fiona: Ahh, yes, you like Disney. Who doesn't? But there are no
actual princesses, and many Fionas grow up to become penpals with
murderers and marry them in prison. You're playing with fire.
* Dylan: Can you still love your child if they grow up to send dick
pics through LinkedIn?
* Hailey: It's hard to hear anyone say, "I'm not racist, but..."
Especially when it's a 14-year-old. Who wronged her? It was you.
In this ever-changing world, it's hard to know how life is going to turn
out for your new- or soon-to-be-born. You can't keep them from getting
their heart broken. And you won't be able to shield every force of evil
from them over the course of their whole life. You will, however, be
able to avoid naming them Harley. You will need our help.
