"It's hard to overstate the importance of this gorgeous, harrowing,
heartbreaking book, which tackles sexual violence and its aftermath
while also articulating the singular pain of knowing -- or loving, or
caring for, or having a history with -- one's rapist. Vanasco is
whip-smart and tender, open and ruthless; she is the perfect guide
through the minefield of her trauma, and ours." --Carmen Maria Machado
in Bustle
A Most Anticipated Book of Fall at Time, NYLON, Bustle, Pacific
Standard, The Millions, Publishers Weekly, Chicago Tribune and
more!
Jeannie Vanasco has had the same nightmare since she was a teenager. She
startles awake, saying his name. It is always about him: one of her
closest high school friends, a boy named Mark. A boy who raped her.
When her nightmares worsen, Jeannie decides--after fourteen years of
silence--to reach out to Mark. He agrees to talk on the record and meet
in person. "It's the least I can do," he says.
Jeannie details her friendship with Mark before and after the assault,
asking the brave and urgent question: Is it possible for a good person
to commit a terrible act? Jeannie interviews Mark, exploring how rape
has impacted his life as well as her own. She examines the language
surrounding sexual assault and pushes against its confines, contributing
to and deepening the #MeToo discussion.
Exacting and courageous, Things We Didn't Talk About When I Was a Girl
is part memoir, part true crime record, and part testament to the
strength of female friendships--a recounting and reckoning that will
inspire us to ask harder questions and interrogate our biases. Jeannie
Vanasco examines and dismantles long-held myths of victimhood,
discovering grace and power in this genre-bending investigation into the
trauma of sexual violence.
