They're among us, but they are not like us. They manipulate, lie, cheat,
and steal. They are irresistibly charming and accomplished, appearing to
live in a radiance beyond what we are capable of. But narcissists are
empty. No one knows exactly what everyone else is full of--some kind
of a soul, or personhood--but whatever it is, experts agree that
narcissists do not have it.
So goes the popular understanding of narcissism, or NPD (narcissistic
personality disorder). And it's more prevalent than ever, according to
recent articles in The New York Times, The Atlantic, and Time. In
bestsellers like The Narcissism Epidemic, Narcissists Exposed, and
The Narcissist Next Door, pop psychologists have armed the normal with
tools to identify and combat the vampiric influence of this rising
population, while on websites like narcissismsurvivor.com, thousands of
people congregate to swap horror stories about relationships with narcs.
In The Selfishness of Others, the essayist Kristin Dombek provides a
clear-sighted account of how a rare clinical diagnosis became a fluid
cultural phenomenon, a repository for our deepest fears about love,
friendship, and family. She cuts through hysteria in search of the
razor-thin line between pathology and common selfishness, writing with
robust skepticism toward the prophets of NPD and genuine empathy for
those who see themselves as its victims. And finally, she shares her own
story in a candid effort to find a path away from the cycle of fear and
blame and toward a more forgiving and rewarding life.
