For the past thirty-five years, John Gottman's research has been
internationally recognized for its unprecedented ability to precisely
measure interactive processes in couples and to predict the long-term
success or failure of relationships. In this groundbreaking book, he
presents a new approach to understanding and changing couples: a
fundamental social skill called "emotional attunement," which describes
a couple's ability to fully process and move on from negative emotional
events, ultimately creating a stronger relationship.
Gottman draws from this longitudinal research and theory to show how
emotional attunement can downregulate negative affect, help couples
focus on positive traits and memories, and even help prevent domestic
violence. He offers a detailed intervention devised to cultivate
attunement, thereby helping couples connect, respect each other, and
show affection. Emotional attunement is extended to tackle the subjects
of flooding, the story we tell ourselves about our relationship,
conflict, personality, changing relationships, and gender. Gottman also
explains how to create emotional attunement when it is missing, to lay a
foundation that will carry the relationship through difficult times.
Gottman encourages couples to cultivate attunement through awareness,
tolerance, understanding, non-defensive listening, and empathy. These
qualities, he argues, inspire confidence in couples, and the sense that
despite the inevitable struggles, the relationship is enduring and
resilient.
This audiobook, an essential follow-up to his 1999 The Marriage
Clinic, offers therapists, students, and researchers a detailed
intervention for working with couples, and offers couples a roadmap to a
stronger future together.
