On an MTV special aired in 2000, young interviewees were asked to
confess the worse thing they were ever told during a romantic breakup.
One person tearfully responded "that I suck in bed. " More recently, an
acquaintance of mine admitted to his new girlfriend that he "has a mean
streak. " She decided not to date him after that. Another memorable and
painful example of openness occurred years ago when I served as a member
of a suicide intervention team. I was called to a very disturbing scene
in an upscale neighborhood to console a woman who was threaten- ing to
take her life on the lawn in front of her children. Her husband had just
confessed his long-term affair to her that morning and she felt that her
world was coming apart. Fortunately, she did not take her life but was
left with the humiliation of haVing her neighbors know about her private
troubles. The question these examples bring to mind is, "Why do people
so often reveal potentially stigmatizing personal information to
others?" The reader probably has an intuitive answer to this question
already. It can seem like such a burden-even torture-to keep secrets
from other people. Hiding such things as feelings of discontent from a
boyfriend or girlfriend, violations of the law from close friends, and
indiscretions from employers can be alienating. People want others to
know them; therefore they often end up disclosing self-incriminating
information.