The smudge looked suspiciously penis- like. The doctor confirmed: That's
the baby's penis! which caused not celebration, but panic. Joel pictured
having to go camping and fix a car and use a hammer and throw a football
and watch professionals throw footballs and figure out whether to be sad
or happy about the results of said football throwing.
So begins his quest to confront his effete nature whether he likes it or
not (he doesn't), by doing a twenty-four-hour shift with L.A.
firefighters, going hunting, rebuilding a house, driving a Lamborghini,
enduring three days of boot camp with the U.S. Army, day-trading with
$100,000, and going into the ring with UFC Hall of Famer Randy Couture.
Seeking help from a panel of experts, including his manly father-in-law,
Boy Scouts, former NFL star Warren Sapp, former MLB All-Star Shawn
Green, Adam Carolla, and a pit bull named Hercules, he expects to learn
that masculinity is defined not by the size of his muscles, but by the
size of his heart (also, technically, a muscle). This is not at all what
he learns.