You're trying to help--but is it working?
Helping others is a good thing. Often, as a leader, manager, doctor,
teacher, or coach, it's central to your job. But even the most
well-intentioned efforts to help others can be undermined by a simple
truth: We almost always focus on trying to fix people, correcting
problems or filling the gaps between where they are and where we think
they should be. Unfortunately, this doesn't work well, if at all, to
inspire sustained learning or positive change.
There's a better way. In this powerful, practical book, emotional
intelligence expert Richard Boyatzis and Weatherhead School of
Management colleagues Melvin Smith and Ellen Van Oosten present a clear
and hopeful message. The way to help someone learn and change, they say,
cannot be focused primarily on fixing problems, but instead must connect
to that person's positive vision of themselves or an inspiring dream or
goal they've long held. This is what great coaches do--they know that
people draw energy from their visions and dreams, and that same energy
sustains their efforts to change, even through difficult times. In
contrast, problem-centered approaches trigger physiological responses
that make a person defensive and less open to new ideas.
The authors use rich and moving real-life stories, as well as decades of
original research, to show how this distinctively positive mode of
coaching--what they call coaching with compassion--opens people up to
thinking creatively and helps them to learn and grow in meaningful and
sustainable ways.
Filled with probing questions and exercises that encourage
self-reflection, Helping People Change will forever alter the way all
of us think about and practice what we do when we try to help.
