Louise has revealed the harrowing story in which she reflects on her
life and the bridge incident that shook her family to the core.
Content warning: suicide.
2019. Dawn. The River Humber. A misty February walk. Surprise early
daffodils. A picture taken. Then forgotten. Because five hours later my
world shattered.
My mother jumped off the Humber Bridge. Had those yellow flowers not
delayed me, I might have been there. Could I have stopped her?
In the aftermath of this violent act, I turned to my writing, to my
beloved siblings, to our only uncle. I was forced to look at events that
led to this suicide attempt. At relationships wrecked by alcoholism. At
chronic depression. At our care records. At my childhood. At my mother.
At buried trauma never fully explored before. At myself ...
When I much later found the picture of those surprise daffodils, I knew
it was time to write about that day. I began typing the story that
inspired so many of my fictional characters, that shaped the testing
things they endured.
My own story.
'Authentic, unflinching and moving. Written with compassion and humanity
and a great deal of love.'
SE Lynes, author of The Housewarming
'Louise Beech has such a lovely way with words.' (on Maria in the
Moon)
Nudge Magazine
'Haunting, brave, and brilliant.'
Gill Paul, author of The Second Marriage
'A powerful memoir making sense of a complicated childhood.'
Madeleine Black
'Upsetting, uplifting, and inspiring.'
John Marrs, bestselling author of The Good Samaritan
